Thursday was a rough day.

I went to a particular grocery store for the first time in three weeks and I just felt massive anxiety come over me. People were being rude, watching your every move. It just felt so odd.

Walmart is the only place I can go in “peace.”

I go once a week at around 7:00pm (they close at 8:30pm now). It’s pretty empty and 80% of what I need is usually there.

Pat goes to another supermarket for us once a week and that one I will not go to.

They have arrows that point in certain directions and he has said people get yelled at for going the wrong way by mistake. I am just too sensitive and stressed at this point to deal with that.

Or people yelling at the cashier because they won’t let them put their items down due to the need of being “six feet apart.”

I find myself having a short fuse and getting irritated quite easily. 

Having anxiety and depression through all this isn’t easy. While I am grateful to have my family safe and that Pat can have income coming in, it’s just not easy.

My morning gym session was for clearing my head and getting ready for the day. Lately I’ve been working out between noon and 2:00pm. I’m not liking it at all but I am working on trying to wake up earlier.

On Friday I woke up at 6:40am, which was huge for me.

I have been waking up between 7:00am-7:30am. I was used to waking up at 4:45am on my work days and before 6:00am on my non work days.

Pat got me a new mat (Walmart, in store only) and a foam roller (Target) because I have been complaining about not being able to use the foam roller from work. wp-15876477281523936941073654476297.jpgOne of the gyms I work at has a physical therapy center in it, so they have some really good trigger point foam rollers.

I don’t have much motivation to do my usually intense workouts but having this new mat and using Barre3 as my primary workouts has helped.

Again, I know I have a lot to be grateful for, but not being able to work and seeing my daughter upset when she can’t go to the store with one of us, it’s tough.

Little things pile up for me.

After a morning filled with a bunch of things going wrong, I said enough was enough. I need to start waking up early. consistently. I need to set myself up for success even if I am tired.

I did my “night time” routine on Friday for the first time in a while.

It felt good to see the kitchen tidy and to know I would wake up to a clean space in the morning. I could just relax instead of scrambling to get things done before the kids woke up.

I’ve even added stretching and foam rolling to my night time routine just to look forward to unwinding my body from the day.

I just want to enjoy the small moments and accomplish those small “wins” that can make you feel like you’re on top of the world.

Even if it’s something as small as cleaning all the dishes.

It’s the little things as I always say.

Stay safe and healthy. ❤

4 thoughts on “Anxiety.

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