There are some things people don’t tell you when you go through a separation/ divorce.
While these may be obvious things, they are things you simply don’t think about until you are in the moments.
Sleepless Nights/ Broken Sleep.
There are nights where I have broken sleep or sleep maybe four hours total.
My son has been having nightmares and my youngest daughter sometimes just wants someone to cuddle with at 2:00am.
Sometimes both wake up at the same time and it’s obviously just me to take care of them.
I know this stage is short lived as my oldest started sleeping better once she turned three. The twins will be three in November, so I am trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Of course, I am thankful to have peace at night; not having a toxic argument before bed [almost[ every night is liberating.
No [PM] breaks.
There’s no one that comes home to you at the end of the night to give you a “break.” In the past, I would run to the supermarket at 9:00pm because I just needed to make a grocery run kid free.
I recently signed up for Walmart’s grocery delivery service and that has helped me so much to feel more independent in “that aspect.”
Because I have so little “free” time to myself, I rather not fill it with a grocery run.
Mom Guilt Amplifies.
This I struggle with only my oldest.
She remembers a time where mom and dad lived together. She remembers waking up in the middle of the night and seeing us both hover over her bed.
Trying to explain it to a five year old is harder then it seems. She understands that we don’t live together but not sure as to why. I know as time goes on, she will understand more and it will just become her “new normal.“
But this just makes me feel guilty.
I can’t provide her with her father’s comfort at midnight. But I reassure her that dad loves her and will see her in the morning to drop her off at school.
As they say [and I keep saying], time heals all. ❤