At the end of this month, I will be leaving the fitness industry.

To be honest, it just does not align with my current path of life. It’s been a wonderful 10 + years but it’s time. I don’t know where life will take me yet but all I know is this feels right and my main focus right now is my family.

My mental health took a drastic toll ALMOST two months ago. I ended up going to my doctor to check in and reassess my anxiety and depression.

Turns out I’ve been misdiagnosed this whole time.

I ended up being re-diagnosed with ADHD (both inattentive + hyperactive) and was told untreated ADHD can lead to an increase in anxiety issues if you are not targeting the “actual” problem.

Taking the wrong medication can lead to your mental health getting worse overtime if left untreated as well. Explains why my anxiety [and stress level] was getting worse and worse.

I wasn’t actually getting to the root cause of all my problems; my brain.

ADHD brains have low levels of a neurotransmitter called norepinephrine. Norepinephrine is linked arm-in-arm with dopamine. Dopamine is the thing that helps control the brain’s reward and pleasure center. The ADHD brain has impaired activity in four functional regions of the brain.

While treating anxiety and depression with medication, we were focusing on my serotonin levels (among other things) and not increasing dopamine levels.

I’ve had issues in relationships of being “too much” or “too fidgety.” I felt weird around friends because I was just overshare and say unnecessary things impulsively, making others feel uncomfortable.

It just all makes sense now.

It also explains why I have this constant need for change.

I would get bored easily, especially since college; changing majors every semester, changing jobs every year, changing where I lived every six months, changing furniture rearrangements every season [and not just decor]… you get the jist.

My brain was just seeking dopamine all this time.

While to me this was normal, I NEVER “felt” normal.

ALMOST two months ago I was in a dark place that was very unhealthy and damaging. But now with the help of my doctor, partner and family, I’m doing MUCH better thankfully.

Mental health NEEDS to be normalized and taken seriously.

Please seek help if you are NOT okay.  ❤

Just know it’s okay to NOT be okay.One day at a time.

-Sabs 🌿