Since deactivating Instagram, I oddly found myself with more time then I anticipated.
All those moments I wasted on taking the perfect photo or writing the perfect post. While I understand that there are many out there that need social media for their business, for me it was just an outlet.
Or rather “a waste of time” for me personally.
I was definitely feeling “FOMO.”
I realized that looking at Crossfit or other fitness related posts was making me feel like garbage. With my osteoarthritis, I took things down drastically. I can’t workout to the level I used to. I really should have been focusing on living my OWN life and not seeing “what’s going on” or “what’s out there.”
On the days I worked out I felt the need to post my workout because I felt “if I didn’t post it, it didn’t happen.” I felt the need to keep up my [former] bodybuilding, fitness junkie self.
Who was I trying to prove something to?
Granted there were people that would message me and tell me that my posts were a source of inspiration for their fitness journey. I felt the need to keep that appearance up, but I’m no longer in the fitness industry [much] anymore.
I had no need to try and gain clients.
I wasn’t working out 5-6 days a week anymore.
I certainly wasn’t working to lift heavier and set new PRs.
I’ve just been making exercise a part of my daily life. I was inspired by Sophie from Malama Life to do this. If I didn’t workout or get a certain amount of steps in, I’d feel like a failure in the “fitness realm.”
Yet, the pain from osteoarthritis has decreased drastically.
I came to the realization that my “fitness” journey has changed. I was no longer a bodybuilder or “Crossfit junkie“. I wanted to just “exercise” while living. This includes going for a walk (solo or with the kids), cleaning the house or just doing errands as a “workout.”
If I want to workout, I’ll usually just do one of my Pilates sculpt videos (THIS one is my favorite) or stretch for 5-10 minutes and do a short workout from Heather Robertson (like THIS one).I don’t know if I will reactivate Instagram again, but for now I am enjoying it. I like not feeling the need to prove “something” to society. At least, that’s what Instagram “makes” me do.
My focus right now is listening to my body and doing what works, one day at a time.