Guilt.

One could say I have it all;

I have three amazing kiddos, a wonderful partner, a house, a great job and my overall physical health is pretty decent at the moment.

I should be happy, but I’m not.

I’m anxious and drained.But, why?

Guilt.

Guilt of things that I regret doing as a parent; whether it’s yelling at the kids, not spending enough time with them or rushing them around from activity to activity or to my work and so forth.

Feeling guilty when I snap at my kids for just being kids.I’ve been reading, listening and watching many things (as I usually do) and have noticed a pattern. Specifically from Dr. Brook Weinstein. Apparently, I’ve been living in survival mode as a parent and NOT thriving.

This makes a lot of sense.Most of it started after my seperation/ divorce since I ended up having the kids almost full time. I have them Sunday through Friday night and take care of all the school needs, extracurricular activities, pickups/ dropoffs plus homeschooling.

One thing she talked about that stood out for me in a podcast I listened too was she mentioned that nothing changes even if your partner helps [if my case, my partner has taken more of a co-parenting role]. Eventually, you’ll end up finding another issue that will stress you out.

Why?

Because the problem is YOU.

Hi, it’s me I’m STILL the problem.This week I took a step back to approach everything differently; starting with myself, then the kids, then my partner and finally work. I’ve realized that a lot just stems from me.

Me being stressed.

Me being burnt out from motherhood and homeschooling.

Me not truly vocalizing my needs and assuming my partner should just know.

My current approach is trying to break down each day “block by block.”

For me that means dividing the day up into morning, afternoon + evening “blocks,” and seeing what works best to accommodate what is happening.

I’m still trying to ensure I have two weeknights with zero plans and one “no drive day” for my hip/knee.

Of course, I’m naturally trying to take things one day at a time.-Sabs šŸŒæ

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